The Last Day Of Work

a list:
1) fired for calling in sick from an ice cream stand on a hot Friday night
2) called and told my co-worker to tell the restaurant owner that after 4 years of dishwashing, I wasn't coming in today or anymore
3) at the end of my two week notice, told off an unreasonable customer by throwing his film negatives in his face and dancing around him in a circle while singing 'Got To Be Real' then telling him to get the fuck out of my store
4) went to collect my severance check and was told by the newspaper's HR people that I was fired for disgruntled cartooning
5) hoped for cake, got nothing
6) threatened the paper's owner with physical violence and told him he was a scumsucking motherfucker as he wrote out my final check
7) got drunk (in the restaurant)
8) got drunk (in the office)
9) terminated via email after one week on the job