Bumpersnicker

I was walking and had just had a talk that was weighing me down when I noticed a sticker on the rear window of a parked red SUV. "My son is an EMT. My son saves lives. What does your son do?" it read. Instant fiery rage. Fuck you. I kept walking, and made some decisions. I had my red keychain Sharpie with me (this was exactly the sort of situation for which I keep that thing with me). I looked for paper on the ground. Didn't find any, but no matter - I would find something. I'd need tape. I walked into Dunkin' Donuts and asked for a receipt. In the parking lot, I took out my wallet and found a Starbucks gift card receipt and scanned it for any information that could lead back to me. Then I turned it over and used the wallet as a desk as I wrote "MY SON IS DEAD. THANKS." I attached the tape and approached the SUV, a little thrill rising up as I realized the timing was going to be perfect. It was parallel-parked, and the stream of traffic going past it was about to end. I stood behind it, waiting for the last one or two cars to pass. I'd press my note below the offending sticker and cross the street. One car to go. Suddenly a faint beep beep, and the SUV's rear lights flash and stop. The owner, the goddamned EMT's mom, the most important woman of all time ever, steps off the sidewalk and climbs into her SUV. I cross the street, crumpling the note in my hand.